saisdontmatter | (no subject)

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[When sickness hit the Hamato household, it swept through like wildfire. And ever since Splinter found himself with two sick little turtles on his hands, he was determined to keep the other two as germ-free as possible. So as soon as they woke and they ate their meager breakfast, he shooed Raphael and Leonardo out of the den, hurriedly telling them to bring back anything they found of use before being pulled away by his sick ones' alarmed whimpers.

Raphie was more than happy to leave the den. It stank like throw up in there, and being hungry made it even worse. Ever since Donnie and Mikey got sick, Splinter hasn't been able to go topside for food, and splitting a can of tuna fish and a couple slices of stale bread with Leo left him feeling hollow inside. He'd been growing a lot lately, way more than his brothers, and it was making him feel hungry all the time. Maybe they'd be able to find some cool stuff while they were out, or even some more food.

The only problem is, he has no idea where to look. Splinter doesn't usually take him out on scavenge runs. It's because he's too noisy and doesn't listen, but his brothers tell him it's because he cries too much. But that's because they're stupid and Splinter doesn't take them either! No one gets to go except for Leo, because he's a daddy's boy and the favorite. And a stupid idiot, but that's besides the point.

So. That leaves two nine year old turtles and one mission. Raphie looks at his brother, shrugs, and starts shuffling off to wherever his feet take him. Because there's no way he's gonna let Leo tell him where to go. He'll just walk until he finds something.]

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[Raph doesn't respond, just buries his face in his arms. He ruined everything, almost got them caught, and now Leo's gonna tell Splinter and he'll never be allowed out of the den ever again.

Tears prick at his eyes, makes him sniffle pathetically. There goes Raphie again, crying like a big baby. The thought of being teased only makes him want to cry even more.]

[Leo bites his lip as he looks back at his brother. Uh oh. If Raph starts with one of his crying episodes, it's going to take forever to get them moving. He doesn't want to stay here any longer than they have to.]

[This is all his fault. He shouldn't have told Raph about the runoff spots at all; he knows his brother has a hard time keeping his emotions in check, especially recently. Now they're lost, and... and a human might have seen them. Or they might come into the sewers looking for human children. He really messed this up.]

[Leo shuffles closer to his brother, careful not to invade his personal space too badly. His voice is as gentle as being an anxious nine-year-old permits.]

Come on, Raphie, it's not that bad. There's a lot of other places we can check. There's...

[He hesitates and trails off. When it comes to food, the main source is topside itself. But Master Splinter always makes Leo wait at the bottom of the manhole for that. He shakes his head.] Want to try somewhere else?

[Another wave of what feels like grief washes over him, making him sob wetly into the dark space by his knees. Why does he have to be so stupid? Why do humans have to be so mean and scary and hoard all the good stuff when his family could use some of that good stuff too. And as soon as Leo tells on him his life will be pretty much over. He can imagine Splinter's face now. He'll probably hit him and tell him to go sit in the corner for hours and hours and Mikey will make fun of him the whole time and it'll be the worst day of his life.

This is the worst day of his life.]

I hate humans. [He sobs without looking up. He doesn't want to go anywhere. He just wants to sit here and be miserable.]

[Aw, man. Strap in your seat belts, the crying train has just taken off. Frustrated, Leo draws away again, crossing his arms and leaning his shell back against the pipes. His head turns away from Raph, and he peers grimly down the tunnel as he waits for his brother to ride out the tears. There's just no stopping him once he gets started like this. Leo'll just make things worse the more he tries to talk to Raph.]

[He wishes he could understand his brother sometimes, especially times like now. But he's given up on that years ago.]

[And now Leo won't even talk to him. He can't even think of what he's thinking now. There goes Raphie, the crazy weirdo who can't stop crying all the time. Just ignore him, because nobody wants to help him ever. They just laugh at him and call him stupid and tell him to go sit by himself and never talk to him or explain anything or even care.

Leo doesn't care how much he hates humans. He doesn't care about why or anything, and it just makes him howl with grief until he finally tires himself out to just sniffling miserably for a while.

If he stops crying that doesn't mean he's all better. It just means he's tired. He hopes Leo knows that. He is not better and he still hates humans and he'll hate Leo even more if he tells.]

[He's glad his head is turned away from Raph, because that way he can't see the way Leo cringes with every sob that pounds through the sewers like a siren wail. He hates it when Raph cries, and not just because he does it all the time - they might not always get along, but Raph's his brother. It's not as though he likes it when he's upset. At least... not anymore. It's not funny anymore. It hasn't been funny for a long time.]

[The only reason Leo is ignoring him is because he doesn't know what else to do. It almost seems like Raph hates him lately. He can't figure out why, and it hurts his feelings when Raph says some of the stuff he does. But he's positive that trying to talk to his brother while he's crying would just make things a hundred times worse.]

[When the loud wailing quiets down into sniffles, Leo turns slowly back around to face Raph, the cloth between his eyes pinched. He crouches down and edges a little closer.]

You okay now? [It's genuine concern, soft and inquisitive. If Raph doesn't pull away, Leo will shuffle closer until their arms are touching.] Hey... I'm sorry, okay?

[He doesn't pull away, just wipes his face on his arm and glares with swollen eyes at the moss-covered wall ahead.

In Raph's mind, he's always the victim. He's always the one everyone hates and is never good at anything. He always messes things up whether he means to or not, and he always feels like it's never his fault. It's their fault for making him act like this. It's their fault for not understanding him. But Leo's apology doesn't make it any better. It doesn't feel real. It just sounds like he's saying it to shut him up.]

Wuh-what are you s-suh-suh-sorry for?

I should've known there'd be a dumb, nosy human up there. They always come and stop us from getting the best stuff.

[Sure, he might be mostly trying to make his brother feel better, but there's a large element of truth to it, too. Maybe Raph messed up, but so did Leo. So they're even, right? Right.]

[He tilts his head in his brother's direction.]

You, you mean they a-always do that?

[Leo gives him a small smile, and even dares to throw his arm around Raph's shell.]

Uh-huh. This one time, Master Splinter was trying to untangle a blanket from a clothesline so he could bring it home, but then he heard a human coming, so he had to come back down the manhole. It was just a weird guy coming into the alley. [He leans a little closer, his expression turning conspiratorial.] And you know what he was even doing there?

[When Leo rests his arm across his shell, he glances warily at his brother from the corner of his eye. It makes it very hard to keep hating him.]

Huh?

He just went to the corner and started peeing! [Leo says, throwing his other arm in the air as though completely scandalized by the thought of some dude relieving himself in public. Knowing him, he probably is.] We never got that blanket just because some human couldn't find a toilet!

[As theatrical as he's being, it's only half an act put on for a little brother. Leo still can't begin to figure out why you would go out and pee somewhere where someone could walk in on you doing it. It would be so embarrassing! Humans are so weird.]

[Raph's eyes widen, going a half shade paler and whispering conspiratorially.]

Did you see his stuff?

[Because that is what nightmares are made of.]

[Leo shudders against his brother. Splinter had tasked him with lookout duty that time around - which roughly equated to him peering out of the manhole with the lid just barely pushed up over his head - and although he didn't see the "stuff", he definitely didn't miss the sound. Euughhh.]

No! He was facing away from us, and besides, Sensei made us move to another manhole before he was finished. [THANK GOD.]

[He's both relieved and disappointed Leo didn't. The whole thing sounds kinda scary and freaky and exciting. Too bad he'll never get a chance to go on one of those trips.

And speaking of Sensei...

Mouth pressed into a hard line, he slumps forward again, afraid to look his brother in the eye.]

Are you gonna tell on me?

[Leo frowns. Is that what this is all about? Raph thinks he's gonna tell on him? He shakes his head, staring at a pebble resting between his feet.]

Nah. [And that's it. Short and to the point. Master Splinter has enough to worry about. Leo might've tattled without hesitation a year ago, but now he has to consider these things more.]

[Sometimes, Leo, you really are okay.]

Promise?

[He grins a bit wider and gives his brother a wink.]

Promise. Now what do you say we go back to looking? The runoff spots are probably a no-go, but...

[He trails off again, his expression becoming troubled as he looks off to the side. They need food. And the best place to get food is still topside. But there's no way they can risk that... especially not after what just happened. Can they?]

[No, no. Of course they can't. Bad idea, Leo. Splinter's said a hundred times not to go topside, ever.]

[But why would he send Leo and Raph out to get food, knowing that it was nearly impossible to find it anywhere but there? He bites his lip again, totally forgetting to either finish or retract his sentence. What should they do?]

[This time, Raph smiles back. Now that that's put behind them, he's eager to get back to business.]

But what?

Well...

[Come on, Leo, think. You're the leader now. Splinter's coached you on this before - just weigh the risks against the need. Consider all the angles.]

Most alleys have trash cans with all the food humans throw away. Some of it's still clean enough to eat... and since they have lids, it shouldn't be wet at all. [He speaks haltingly, because it's really just him working through his head out loud.] But I don't know, Raph. Master Splinter never even lets me go topside with him. I don't think it's a good idea.

Edited 2013-09-09 00:28 (UTC)

[It's like Leo's getting cooler by the second!]

I won't tell if you don't.

Edited 2013-09-09 01:12 (UTC)

[8| Disobeying Master's orders is not "cool", little brother. It's just that the need outweighs the risk at this point. They need easy stuff to digest, like bread and crackers. They're not gonna find that in the runoff spots. And maybe they can collect some rainwater to boil later.]

[He chews on his lip a little, glancing off to the side. He isn't entirely convinced yet, but it's probably pretty easy to tell that he's close to giving in.]

Comeoooon Leo. [Look at your little brother, sweet as pie and smiling from ear-to-ear. It's hard to believe he and the raging emo monster from a minute ago are the same person.] Splinter said we had to go find stuff...

[Leo finally relents with a sigh. He is gonna be in so much trouble if Splinter asks where all the supplies came from.]

We're only staying in the alleyways, got it? And if any humans come around, we have to hide! And you'd better stick close to me! [Not that he has any actual experience with being topside, either, but at least he's seen Master Splinter shuffle around up there a bit.]

[Oh my gosh, he gets to go topside! There's nothing in the whole wide world that could contain his excitement right now.]

Yeah, I know. It's not like I'm gonna go walking down the street! Now c'mon!

[He gives his brother a shove from behind, hoping to push him along until they're both going the speed he wants to go. Which is fast. If he could teleport up there he would. Too bad he has no idea which way they should be going.]